Dawn Of Time
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Sara is having a hard time coping in the wake of "Crisis" and Ava tries to ease her suffering.


In the wake of Oliver's funeral, Ava immediately noticed that Sara had pulled away from everyone, still acting off in the wake of the crisis. She wasn't surprised - her girlfriend had been through a lot when the multiverse fell and none of the other Paragons seemed to be coping well either. Ava pulled Sara aside to check on her - yet again - which obviously seemed to frustrate her. "What?" Sara snapped.

Ava didn't let it bother her. "Just checking on you - again. You sure you're okay?" she checked, worried beyond belief.

Sara rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. How many times do I have to tell people that - who's going to ask me next?"

Ava held up her arms. "Sorry. But I'm worried about you, that's all. I'm here if you need me, no matter what. Got it?"

"I got it the last time you said that," Sara replied, her teeth clenched.

Ava didn't let the attitude get to her since she knew why Sara was acting this way but her girlfriend's behavior still irritated her. She gritted her teeth and took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Again, I'm here if you need me. Don't even worry about the time or if I'm busy." She hugged Sara and then went off to find the rest of the team.

* * *

After the wake finished, the Legends - and Ava - headed back to the Waverider. "Everything is so different now," Ray observed.

"We are not talking about that again," Sara told him.

Ray cringed. "Sorry, Sara."

"Don't take it personally," Ava whispered when she walked away to check on something.

Ray nodded. "I'm not. But hopefully she talks to someone about this soon - she can't push away the grief and let it build for much longer."

"Be there for her when I can't?"

"Of course." Ray hugged Ava before wandering off to talk to Nora.

Ava ate a snack - she had filled up at the wake but stress made her hungry - and then decided to hunt down Sara again. "What do you want?" Sara glared at her girlfriend.

She sighed. "Nothing. Really." She eyed Sara in concern. "I love you, Sara."

Sara flashed her the first smile she gave in what felt like weeks. "I love you too, Ava." She leaned over and kissed her.

Ava wasn't going to let this behavior fly for much longer but she let it go for now as she returned to work.

She wasn't surprised when a frantic Ray called her a few hours later. "Sara's pretty angry - she's snapping at everyone in sight and made Nate cry. She made Nate cry, Ava!"

Ava laughed despite everything. "I'll be there in a few seconds. She's not coping well with anything. But you're a great friend, Ray - thanks for looking out for her."

He smiled. "It's no problem at all."

When she made onto the Waverider just seconds later, she hugged Ray and thanked him. "You're the best friend she could have right now."

He blushed. "I love Sara and just want to be okay, which she clearly isn't."

Ava walked to the cockpit and found Sara angrily throwing some things. "Whoa, what the fuck are you doing?" she asked.

Sara looked up at her, the anger in her eyes so intense it took Ava's breath away. "Nothing. I just couldn't find what I was looking for." The rage drained away just a little.

"Do you need any help? I heard you made Nate cry."

Sara shrugged. "I'll apologize later."

"How about you apologize now?" Ava suggested, warily watching her pace around the room.

"Not happening." Sara continued to pace for a few minutes before stopping and leaning against the wall. "Did you know I was there for the dawn of the time in this new universe? The fucking dawn of time! And then Oliver had to die - again - just to make this happen. We were fucked without his help, and I had to watch the man die twice. The idiot sacrificed himself twice! And now he's never coming back, which means Felicity and their kids have to live without him. But hey, he fixed shit so now baby Sara's back! He helped out Lyla and Diggle in his last moments without even realizing it - or maybe he did. Barry said he made a deal to save him and Kara."

Ava let her continue to rant her pain out, hoping it would help. "Let it out," she encouraged.

And Sara did exactly that. She ranted for about fifteen more minutes before her knees gave up and she slid to the floor. Ava rushed to her side as the sobs began to rattle her body and pulled Sara in for a hug, kissing the top of her head. "I'm here. You're not alone," she soothed. Ava tried her best to comfort Sara and continued to hold her in her arms.

"Only a few of us survived - so many people died and there was nothing I could do about it. And fucking Lex Luthor went and made himself the hero," Sara sobbed.

Ava didn't know anything about Lex pre-Crisis but Kara had filled in her a few days earlier. "He sounds like the worst."

"Worst doesn't even begin to cover it. And how am I supposed to move on after this?" Sara didn't have an answer to that question and neither did Ava.

"You don't have to move on right away - grieve for everything that you've lost and celebrate what we've gained. Kara and her friends are on our Earth now! That's amazing, isn't it? No more universe hopping."

"I hope the multiverse is still out there somewhere." Sara sniffled and tried to pull herself together.

Ava nodded her head in agreement. "I bet it is."

Sara choked on another sob and continued to cry. "I'm sorry."

"Don't ever apologize for falling apart like this again - you're allowed to not be the strong one all the time. But just don't let it get this bad next time, okay? Come to me or one of your teammates when you're feeling this low. Promise me, Sara."

"I promise," Sara agreed.

Sara cried for another half hour before she slumped over in exhaustion, after having sobbed herself to sleep. With Mick's help, Ava managed to get Sara into her bed to sleep off her grief, and she stayed with her all night.

This wasn't the last time Sara would fall apart but she'd be able to grieve without judgement in the presence of those she loved. Ava wouldn't let her do it by herself and neither would anyone else. This was just the start of a whole new world and they all looked forward to seeing what it held.


End file.
